Well it’s a good news/bad news day for me today. The good news is that our daughter is doing really well after her jaw surgery. I am so impressed by the fact that she is only having to deal with some rubber bands holding her mouth together and she can remove the bands to brush her teeth and they are wide enough to permit her to use the large syringe without the tubing in order to eat. When I had the surgery done my mouth was completely held together by wires for six weeks and I had to use a tubing at the end of the syringe which I slipped down the side of my cheek toward the back of my mouth. Surgical techniques sure have come a long way! She is not in a lot of pain and while she has had some uncomfortable days, it is going along smoothly.
The bad news is that we lost my mom on Friday. I’m still kind of in shock at how quickly she went, but also grateful that she did not suffer and that she was the one directing the action for the most part. When she was offered ventilation, she refused. She knew the potential consequences and chose not to try the antiviral medication either. When she slipped out of touch with us by not opening her eyes or even acknowledging my sister’s presence we knew she was on her way to be with our dad. It is interesting that January 11 would have been their 80th anniversary. The 17th was the day my dad passed away 40 years ago so I think he called her up to have a second honeymoon.
Of course I thought she was invincible when she walked across the Golden Gate Bridge with us at age 90!
So for the last few days I’ve been working in my studio and listening to Dean Martin and the Rat Pack sing the songs I grew up with. I’ve only cried a couple times. I’ve been getting lots of condolences from friends and I realize that almost everyone has lost at least one if not both of their parents by now so I am extremely grateful for the length of time I have had her and the fact that she was here at Christmas and we had such a good time. She told me that she felt like she was wanted and that she belonged, not like we were just having her as an obligation. That is the best memory. RIP mom. Hope you and dad are dancing to all this music!
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Dear Janet,
ReplyDeleteThe moment I noticed that you published a new post this evening, I knew that it would contain word that your dear mother had passed away. My heart aches for you, dear friend. At the same time, there is much for you to be thankful for, and you touched on those very things. First of all, your mother was blessed with longevity, living a lot longer than my mother, for example, who died at the age of 76. It was a gift from above that your mother was with you over the holidays, that she had a wonderful time during her visit and told you she felt wanted and felt like she belonged. That's huge, Janet. Third, your mother went out courageously and with dignity, on her own terms. If this had to happen, you couldn't have written a more inspiring scenario for her final weeks and days. Thanks for posting pictures of your mother and dad in their younger years. She was a lovely woman. Apart from fitness guru Jack LaLanne, I don't know of any other 90 year old that would have accepted the challenge to walk across the Golden Gate Bridge. You have every right to feel proud of your great mother and to give thanks for her long life and graceful farewell.
I am happy to learn of your daughter's steady progress toward recovery from her procedure. My thoughts and prayers remain with you and your family, dear friend Janet!
Thanks so much dear friend. I just popped over to your site and left you a note as well. It is comforting to have so many people send me their love and I really feel it. Mom would love all the attention she is getting - LOL. She was always telling people how old she was because inevitably they would tell her they didn't believe her. I am blessed to have had such loving parents. I know a lot of families are not like that. Again, hope you have a good week.
DeleteHi Janet - I'm so sorry for the loss of your mum - I scrolled back through your photos and saw her sitting with you in the Thanksgiving pic. It sounds like she was ready to go and to be with your dad and it certainly happened quickly. I hope you're okay and it's good that you have the positive recovery of your daughter after her surgery to help balance the sad with the good. x
ReplyDeleteHi Leanne - Thanks for your kind words. We are grateful that it went quickly for mom. I know so many folks that have had parents suffer for so long.
DeleteI'm so sorry for your loss, Janet! It's never easy to lose a parent; no matter their age or the circumstances. Take good care of yourself!
ReplyDeleteThanks Nancy!
DeleteI am so very sorry for your loss. Your mother sounds like she was an amazing woman. I especially love the picture of her dancing in her cute dress and hat!!
ReplyDeleteYes, that's one of my favorites. It was at my sister's wedding in 1963!
DeleteOh Janet, I'm sorry to hear about your loss. Please know I'm sending you love and holding you in my heart. Such wonderful photos, and I know you have some very precious memories. Even as you celebrate the wonderfulness of your mother, remember to take good and gentle care of yourself.
ReplyDeleteThanks Deborah. I have been allowing myself to cry when I need to.
DeleteHi, Janet - My deepest condolences on the loss of your mother. Sending warm hugs and prayers your way.
ReplyDeleteThanks Donna. I appreciate the love.
DeleteI am so sorry I missed this post as i was thinking about my mom who passed away 4 yrs ago on the 15th. Your mom passed just the day before my mom's anniversary. I am glad you listened to the music and thought about your parents dancing in the clouds.
ReplyDelete