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Sunday, July 12, 2015

July's Journeys - 2015

July 12 - Reflections

Reflections are a journey backward the way I look at it.  I thought I was alone in my search for "days gone by" and I was beginning to think that I was wrong for feeling like there was something missing.  After all, I have been married for 30+ years to a really wonderful guy, I have three great children, I am able to work at home for myself at a job I really enjoy doing, so what's the problem?

Little by little I was getting more and more depressed, lost, unhappy.  I was just going through the motions.  I decided to try something and joined a group with Susannah Conway called April Love.  I did it because I was hoping to get a little more traffic to my blog and perhaps to my Etsy site.  I was drawn to the topic of self-love.

It was a marvelous month.  I found out that I was not the only one who felt like they had given part of their life away.  Some people's stories were very sad; victims of child abuse and some who had had failed marriages or lost loved ones.  But, to my surprise, there were others out there like me!  Women who had been married for years, had children, jobs they loved and yet they were feeling that something was missing for them also.  I felt a sense that it was possible for me to get back some of the "Janet" I thought was lost.  I was hopeful and started to think of ways to refresh myself.

And then my husband's sciatica kicked up again and he was having a really hard time, two trips to the emergency room in one week and lots of pain, requiring lots of medications.  At first he was all I could focus on, but after about a month of caring for him and keeping my work up and the rest of the usual household functions, I could feel myself slipping down that hole again.  I was giving myself up.

I was still getting emails from Susannah Conway and Liz Lamoreux and others from the April Love group and in one of the emails, Liz talked about her book "Inner Excavations."  She said that she was going to be leading a free group to do an "Inner Excavate-along," and her book was going to be on sale!  It was like Liz was throwing me a lifeline and I definitely reached out and grabbed hold.

So, the Excavate-Along started last week and I have followed along with the group, doing almost all the prompts.

My intention for this excavation is "Reclaiming Me."

I took pictures from when I was younger to remind me that deep inside I still am the person who used to do these fun things and that it is going to be okay to do them again.  

I played

I posed.

I pretended

I danced

I was ME!

Now, I would not give up being wife, mother, business owner for anything, and I know that no matter how deep I dig on this excavation, I will never be those ages again.  I just need to remind myself that I don't have to give up on everything fun in my life.  

To that end, I went to dinner with a very dear friend who knew me back in the day.  We had been roommates and shared some really good times together.  It was such fun reflecting on those "days gone by."  I feel refreshed already!  

We have six weeks on this excavate-along and I am looking forward to unearthing more!  I hope you come along on the dig with me!  Share some of your reflections!


Monday, July 6, 2015

July's Journeys - 2015

July 6 -- Another July journey down memory lane.  I recently found out that the El Camino Theater that was on the corner of El Camino and San Mateo Avenue in San Bruno and the two vacant buildings next to it is going to be torn down and the space is going to be converted to a high rise building with both shops and housing.  The theater opened in 1930 and I can remember going there a lot growing up and even into adulthood. 

While it is true that the theater has been closed for many years, (somewhere around the early seventies) and the building itself has housed a bank, a restaurant and a hair salon to name a few, still it was one of those things that meant "home" to me.

It is definitely in disrepair now and I am pretty sure they would have to tear it down to make it suitable for anything, but I am going to miss it just the same.   This is an artist rendering of the building they are planning to put it its place:

Just doesn't look the same.  The story is here:  

Any of our local residents that want to witness the ribbon cutting ceremony can be there on July 15 at 11:30 AM.  It is said the actual demolition could start on the 16th and the building is supposed to be completed by 2017.  I don't think I want to watch.  

Sunday, July 5, 2015

July's Journeys - 2015

July 5 -- The day after...

When I was younger, 4th of July meant party time.  We lived in the bend of a block in San Bruno and our house was the hub for the neighborhood 4th of July celebration.  We had a pot luck dinner and families from across the street and up and down the block would come and hang out at our house, waiting for it to get dark.  There were lots of kids around my age and we all gathered together and played games trying to kill time.  It was great.  When it got dark enough the grownups would start lighting off the fireworks and we would play with sparklers.

At that time (we are talking 50+ years ago - YIKES!) the highway was not built on the hill above our house and the city would shoot off the big fireworks in the sky...the kind that are illegal in our town now!  It was magical.

Over the years, the highway was built, the families grew up and moved away and 4th of July didn't mean as much.  Oh, yes, the fireworks are still nice to see but usually I only see them when it is fireworks night at the baseball game.  

For the last few years now, though, it has almost come to feel like those days of long ago because we have had a few friends over on the 4th and although we don't have a true pot luck dinner, everyone brings some munchies and fireworks abound in our front yard.  Just the "Safe and Sane" ones for sure, but they can actually make a pretty good show!

My husband promised me when we were first dating that he would show me fireworks every year.  One year we even crawled out the bathroom window and sat on the roof to see the fireworks from the city.  This is what he showed me this year:

Not bad for front yard fireworks, right?  Hope you all had a safe 4th.  

Saturday, July 4, 2015

July's Journeys - 2015

July 4 - 2015 Book Challenge Update

Oh my God, I can hardly believe it!  I JUST finished the book Zorba the Greek that I had last picked for my 2015 Reading Challenge.  I started it back in APRIL.  At this rate I am not going to finish 52 books by the end of the year.  Hopefully the next book I picked will not be so tortuous to read.  I've picked:

Complete with pictures from the movie!

Who could forget Nurse Ratched?
This movie came out in 1975 and I saw it on a blind date.  I had been out of high school for two years and was not seeing anyone (I never had a high school boyfriend).  My oldest sister thought it would be fun to set me up with the brother of one of her friends.

I decided I had nothing to lose so I said yes and it was arranged for us to go see the movie.  I figured that if things weren't going well between us, at least we would not have to talk to each other.

I was wearing a pant-suit (fashionable at the time) and when he picked me up Paul (I think that was his name), said, "If that was on a guy it would be called a leisure suit, right?"  He was probably nervous and just trying to make conversation but it didn't really get any better from there.

We went into San Francisco which was kind of exciting in itself.  I didn't go into the City much.  The movie was great but after it was over he asked me if I wanted to go and get some coffee.  I told him I didn't think so and he took me home.  I never talked to him again, but it is one of those things that I remember every time I see the movie.  I have never read the book and I am looking forward to reading it.

Ever been on a blind date?  Cuckoo's Nest bring back any memories for you?  Leave me a comment!

By the way, Happy 4th of July!

Friday, July 3, 2015

July's Journeys - 2015

July 3 - Well, it's been almost a whole month since I added anything here!  I guess it is true what they say about time flying, too bad I wasn't having much fun as it passed me by!

July 1 was the full moon.  I took this picture with the camera I got for Christmas.  Not bad, huh?

Given that half a year has gone by and in celebration of the full moon, I took a look at the vision cards I made in January to see what progress, if any, I was able to make:




As far as our home goes, we did get a new fence and had the back yard cleaned out.  We put up a new gate and some gravel in a path on the side of the house.

With my crafty business I did make a new Etsy shop for my husband to sell his collectibles and that way the only things in my shop are created by me.  I have made a couple of sales but I need to do more!  I participated in April Love and blogged every day in that month.

Financially, we have a plan in place for retirement and are paying down credit card debt to be able to live more comfortably.

My healthy eating and exercise is the area I have focused on the least.  I started out the year really well but in May hubby's sciatica got out of control and I have been dealing with that.  Not an excuse for not taking care of myself but that's been my pattern in the past.  Fortunately we think he is on the upswing and I went to the gym a couple times last week and plan to get back into that and my Hungry Girl eating plan too.

Coming up this month is a short trip to Southern California for my husband's family reunion.  (One of July's Journey's).  Also, starting Monday I am participating in the Inner Excavate-Along with Liz Lamoreux.  I expect that will be a really fun journey!  I hope you will follow along with me!

So, how has your six months been?  Still accomplishing your goals from January?